Hi. Welcome to my website!  Honestly, I don’t do much here.  It’s a place that I had hoped to use to stay focused by organizing my thoughts, schedule, and goals. I’m not sure it’s done that… but there’s still time.

I started the website on an outdated notion, spurring from the dot com boom, that we had to protect our names. So here I am to defame myself! 😂

It’s my hopes that I will use the website to talk about things that are interesting to me, music, coding, Japan, and yes, benzo dependency, all sprinkled and decorated with random thoughts that don’t fit into any of those categories.

If you’d like to know a bit more about me from a time that I had few accomplishments, but wanted to make myself look good, here is an extended bio that I did not write.

 

Day 96 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Day 96 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Finally! I feel like today will be my day of relief. I slept well last night. It’s the first time I have slept through the night in a while without nagging withdrawal symptoms. I woke up at 6 AM (earlier than I normally would) but that’s OK. When I woke up, I did not...

Day 94 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Day 94 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Thank God for this diary. Sometimes writing is the only release I can find. I’m hoping that at this moment, it will prove to be just that. I had a series of good days. I think four or five days went by that I was feeling pretty good. About half of the day yesterday...

Day 86 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Day 86 Of Benzo Withdrawal

I feel like it has been a difficult two weeks. I hadn’t been taking any notes, so I’m not sure if it has been more difficult or less difficult than previous weeks. All I know for certain, is that I did not have very many “window“ days or even times. Actually, the...

Day 83 Of Benzo Withdrawal

Day 83 Of Benzo Withdrawal

First off, let’s address the number 83. Normally when people talk about withdrawal, they probably think a week or two. It’s a common timeframe for alcohol and opioid addiction. In these cases, people can enter a detox facility in rapidly expel the drug from their...

The Mad Science Of Cutting Pills

The Mad Science Of Cutting Pills

Tapering can be tricky when the science comes down to a milligram of how much medicine you take. Several months ago, I used to just eye it. I'd look at the pill and cut it in half. With the larger dosage when I first started my tapering, maybe that was more...

Practicing and Performing With Jam Tracks

Practicing and Performing With Jam Tracks

Wow...I feel like I have really missed the boat on this one. My professional musician friends have been using these forever... In my own live performances and at home, I have been wondering what I can do to provide a better sound. Jam Tracks are the answer I had...

吉本超合金ファックブラザーズ

吉本超合金ファックブラザーズ

My stay in Japan was strange, indeed.  When I first arrived in Japan in 1995, I was immediately presented with media opportunities, simply for being a "gaijin" (foreigner).  I was in print magazines, table mats at family restaurants, even a sporting catalog despite my...

Why Recovery Feels So Remarkable

Why Recovery Feels So Remarkable

I have a friend who has a chronic pain disease. She has kidney stones and passes them every time she has to pee.  I’ve never had kidney stones myself. But I know people that have, and they all say the pain is excruciating. My friend who has the chronic pain disease,...

First Natural Sleep In Years

First Natural Sleep In Years

Last night was my second night of natural sleep in quite a while. This means it was not induced by Klonopin, Melatonin, Xanax, Ambien, hydroxyzine, nighttime cold medicine, or red wine. The last 27 years of my life ended with one of those or a combination of several...

One Bad Apple

One Bad Apple

When I first moved to Japan, I joined an art class.  I only stayed for 1 class before it became unbearable for me. At the time, I was only 22 years old.  There were about 10 other people in the class.  They were elderly Japanese women.  The art teacher was an elderly...

Was Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner Brave?

Was Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner Brave?

The other day, I came across a friend's Facebook post, in which he was arguing with someone about the courage of Caitlyn Jenner.  What is courage?  Was coming out courageous?  There was strong opposition to the idea that it was a courageous act.  One person even said,...

How To Play: Only The Good Die Young (Intro)

Playing the Intro of Only The Good Die Young, might sound a lot harder than it really is.  But if you break it down, it's a piece of cake! To play this song you should know four triad chords: F Major - F, A, C G Major - G, B, D A Minor - A,...

Oops… I Joined A Japanese Cult!

Oops… I Joined A Japanese Cult!

Cults often target the weak.  And I was at a very vulnerable point in my life.  I practically ran away to Japan in 1995 (where I stayed for 10 years) to escape a turbulent past that I had not yet come to terms with.  Little did I know, I was walking directly into more...

Last Day Of Work

Last Day Of Work

When I tell stories about my time in Japan, this one often comes to mind.  I've told the story so many times, that I figured it's about time to blog it. During my last year in Japan, I was working at a gaijin bar called "Canopy" - a bar that was friendly to...

Top 10 Annoying Kanye West Quotes

Top 10 Annoying Kanye West Quotes

The Billboard awards were presented recently, and Kanye made headlines for all the "boos" he received during his intro and performance.  Of course, the performance itself was almost impossible to hear, because it was censored every few seconds. Luckily for viewers, it...

If I Had Only Known Then…

I don't like living in the past, but I find myself revisiting it quite often; not always by choice. Recently I was cleaning up some web profile data, and I came across a Google Analytics report from a business I used to own.  Eventually, I completely scraped it.  I...

Motivation Is Worth More Than Gold

Motivation Is Worth More Than Gold

I wish it could be bottled up and taken when needed.  I'm talking pure, natural motivation, at its very best.  It comes and goes for me, at various levels.  There have been a few times in my life where it stayed with me, unrelentlessly, for weeks and months.   I would...

Saving Money With Digit

Saving Money With Digit

I first heard about Digit, through a technology news article that I had read.  It was announced as the latest and greatest app that would help you save money. I love "latest and greatest apps" and I need help saving money, so I jumped to their website to check it out...