It’s hard to believe that I’ve been free from Klonopin for 6 months. Over the last half year, I have observed how my body and mind has been healing. Body aches, stomach cramps, tinnitus, bloating, racing thoughts, confusion, and so many symptoms have come to an end. Even better, I’m actually feeling good on many days. That did not start until the 5 to 6 month period. I’ve discovered a wider arrange of feelings that I had spent so many years being numb to. I’m learning gratitude, and actually feeling the increase of dopamine. What an amazing feeling! The more I learn, the more I realize how awful that medicine actually was. Feelings are essential, and we need them to learn about ourselves.
Had I know when I was 19, that I was going to take a medicine that would numb me and greatly impair my cognitive abilities, I would have never done it. What’s done is done. It’s time to move on. It’s time for me to start appreciating life in a way that I was not able to. I can focus more on music. I can solve my personal issues and even enjoy that journey. I have regrets. I have to accept myself and my mistakes and move forward with a newly discovered confidence that is sure to grow.
I might finally start writing about other things that I enjoy. But if I don’t, it’s just because I’m at home playing the piano!
I find myself smiling more often.