It wasn’t too long ago, when I watched a special health report about the benefits of pizza. Apparently lycopene, which is found in tomatoes and tomato sauce, can help protect against some cancers. Forget about the high cholesterol, obesity and heart disease that pizza may cause. The point is to find something about it that everyone loves. Unless of course you are the competitor.
The guys at “Casey’s All Natural Foods” are warning consumers about mercury-tainted anchovies, carcinogenic salamis, cheese-induced mad cow disease, and psychedelic mushrooms that they’re sure you are consuming when you order from “Jeremy’s Speedy Pizza Delivery”.
Biased opinions are fun, but can discredit the author if they stretch the truth too far.
With the iPod leading the industry in small, portable, media devices, it’s only realistic to expect competitor attacks, whether it is in the form of a lawsuit or a whacked out conspiracy theory.
So, before you go out and buy the next model in iPod generations, be sure you are aware of the iPod dangers. We at Music Forte care about your safety. And if we can prevent you from joining a doomed class-action law suit, or save you from permanent deafness, we’ll reach out with our hearts to save you.
Brainwashing – If you haven’t heard that the iPod is designed to control your brain, it is because you simply can’t hear it. The high pitch frequencies are undetectable to the human ear. Unlike the FBI, who also have their hands in the matter by installing hidden surveillance components in the hard drive and developing a metal plate that is perfect for obtaining fingerprints, the intentions of Apple are much more focused towards consumers. “Upgrade”, “Subscribe to iTunes”. It’s all interlaced with your favorite music at a frequency so high, only dogs can hear it.
Has Apple designed earphones for canines? Of course not. If dogs starting barking every time they passed a Best Buy or Circuit City, the game would be up.
Microsoft Attacks! – Ever since a woman won a lawsuit over McDonalds when she spilled coffee on her lap, I’ve been skeptical about any kind of lawsuit that attacks common sense. If you pour hot coffee on yourself, you will suffer burns. Sadly, after her trial win, everyone in every state, started pouring McDonalds coffee on their laps in hopes of enduring the same riches. As far as I know, it only worked once.
As for earphones, it doesn’t matter who makes them. If you crank the music into your ears at full volume, sooner or later it is going to effect your hearing. Duh!
What makes this story more interesting is the case of a Louisiana man (Kiel Patterson), who filed lawsuit about the potential iPod had of contributing to hearing loss. According to Patterson’s attorney, Steve Berman, the fact that Patterson may not have hearing loss is beside the point. What matters is that he purchased a product that has the potential of creating hearing loss due to defective design (as if iPod was the first to supply bud-style earphones).
In case you’re wondering who Steve Berman is, he’s a highly successful attorney. Berman was successful in obtaining a settlement of $92 million in the Boeing Securities Litigation. He gained approval of a $290 million settlement in the Louisiana Pacific Siding Litigation. His resume goes on and on… Oh, and did we forget to mention that Microsoft retained him to be part of their core national team representing the company in antitrust class action?
In conclusion… Before you bite into that next slice of pizza, purchase that iPod, or lather your hair with Esperma de Ballena (oops, I mean whale sperm), be sure to do your research. At the very least it can be amusing.